Awkward Silences and Other Conversational Roadblocks

Here are the five most common conversational roadblocks. Avoid them when at all possible.
ROADBLOCK #1: Awkward Silences
Conversation is going nicely. You are talking freely and enjoying yourself. Then, suddenly, all conversation stops. You look around wildly, silently begging everyone in the room to say something. No one does. You can practically hear crickets chirping theatrically in the backround. Okay, you tell yourself. I need to come up with something clever to say. Nothing comes to you, so you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Hence making everything much more awkward.

ROADBLOCK #2: What Am I Doing?
Someone asks you what you are doing over the weekend. Uh -
"Maybe - I'm - um - reading - books? And eating - food - ?"
ROADBLOCK #3: *Applause*
In the middle of a conversation, you say something really witty and funny, and you are grinning expectantly and looking something like this:

And no one gets it.

ROADBLOCK #4: What Have I Done?

You are asked to introduce yourself and tell what you've done on summer vacation. After hearing about all of the things the other people have done, all you can think of is all think of is what you haven't done.

Wellllllllll I've never licked a spark plug, and I've never sniffed a stinkbug, an I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball. And I've never bathed in yogurt, and I don't look good in leggings, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!

ROADBLOCK #5:  Keep Talking

When you say something very strange and awkward in the middle of a conversation, realize that, and keep talking in a futile attempt to smooth it over. Hence making everything much more awkward.

Have you ever rammed into any of these conversational roadblocks or any others?