Blasphemy

The High Dive

At swim class today, the swimming instructor was demonstrating to another class how to do the faint dive. The faint dive is pretty much the most basic thing ever. You just fall off the board and into the water. So that's what she did. And right before she jumped, she said two words.
"Goodbye, John."

Pomegranates, Curtains, and Daffodils

As you know, unless you have not been paying any attention at all, I love reading. And writing.
And you know what drives me mad? When people psychoanalyze written work.
"She sipped at her pomegranate juice."
POMEGRANATE JUICE? POMEGRANATES ARE THE FRUIT OF HADES! HER DRINKING HIS SYMBOLIC JUICE MUST MEAN SHE WILL TURN EVIL IN THE END!
Um, no, actually. What the writer meant was, she was drinking pomegranate juice.

"The curtains were blue."
BLUE CURTAINS? THE COLOR BLUE SYMBOLIZES DEEP SADNESS AND REMORSE! SO EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T SHOW IT ON THE OUTSIDE, HE'S STILL UPSET ABOUT THE SUDDEN DEATH OF HIS GRANDFATHER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!
No. The curtains were just blue, okay?

"He set the daffodils on the table."
DAFFODILS? DAFFODILS SYMBOLIZE FORGIVENESS IN CHRISTIAN LITERATURE! SO THAT MEANS HE MUST HAVE FORGIVEN HER OF HER MANY WRONGS AND IS TRYING TO CONVEY THIS TO HER BY GIVING HER DAFFODILS.
What he was actually trying to do is to set the daffodils on the table.

Sometimes symbolism isn't really involved.
Deal with it.

Scarred for Life

I was sorting through the crap in my desk yesterday when I found a small slip of paper that said I.O.U.

The Avengers

Last night, I finally watched The Avengers.

The verdict? 

It wasn't that good. It wasn't that bad. It was just...meh.

There were a lot of explosions. Explosions are good. 

There was a lot of Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. is good.

But the fact remains.

Meh.

For one thing, Loki has a British accent.This tiny, insignificant fact tore me to pieces like nothing else could. HE'S A GOD FROM ANOTHER PLANET. WHY DOES HE HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT?

And Whatsherface. The girl.With the hand gun. Everybody else has their amazing, epic superhero stuff, and she has...a hand gun. Really? She's a part of gigantic superhero organization thing, and all they give her is a hand gun?

And then the last thirty minutes. Thirty solid minutes of BANG-BOOM-KILL-SHOOT-SMASH-KILL SOME MORE-EXPLODE-JUMP-PUNCH-DUCK-DIVE-THROW-SCREAM-DEATH-HULK-BATTLE-MURDER-DODGE-DESTROY-FIRE-OVERUSED SPECIAL EFFECTS-CRASH-SMASH-KILL-BANG-BOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! YAY, MORE EXPLOSIONS!

So sorry, Avengers fans. But....

Everything That Falls

"We should love, not fall in love, because everything that falls, gets broken." - Taylor Swift

Nice try, Taylor.

Easter Island

So a few days ago, I was at a creative writing club with my friends.
I'm casually flicking through my notebook when I abruptly turned to the guy sitting next to me, who was busy chattering away to his friends about Doctor Who.
"Have we done Easter Island yet?"
"Um............................no?"
And he's just sitting there, staring at me, and I'm smiling at him pleasantly like

I have no regrets.

Boredom

Hi. My name is (still) Samantha (or Scribbles. Or Sam. Or whatever you want to call me. But not Sammy. Never Sammy.) and I am

Ridiculously bored. Unbelievably bored.

And my dear mother does not seem to understand boredom.

Me: I'M BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Mom: Why don't you read a book?

Me: No.

Mom: Call a friend?

Me: No.

Mom: Clean your room?

Me: No.

Mom: Homework?

Me: No.

Mom: Write?

Me: No.

Mom: Watch T.V.?

Me: No.

Mom: Well, I think you have to actually do something to end your boredom.

Me:

Adorable Panda Video

  

You just spent the last five minutes trying to watch a picture.

My angst needs to go somewhere.

Interpret THIS

Last night, Kermit the Frog was standing in an empty white room looking at a ticking, antique, Victorian-style clock. He turned around very slowly to face me, with that scrunchy-lipped expression on his little puppety face. You know what I'm talking about.

That one. Anyway, Kermit just stared at me like that for a while, and then the dream ended.

Probably just means I have anxiety issues.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Hai. It's me again. Get used to that. That fact never really changes.

Anyways, you may have noticed the dramatic change in my blog, unless you are blind or very thick. I'm still working on it. But it has dandelions in it. So your argument is invalid.

It has come to my attention that another Harry Potter movie is going to be made.

Outside, I was all like,

Inside, I was more like,

 

                                         

Sad Things

Me: "...so yeah, it was really sad."

Mom: "I don't like sad things."

Me: "I do. It's happy for deep people."

Mom: "..."

Me:

TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

Production on season 3 of the BBC's 'Sherlock' has been delayed, with a late January to early February 2014 premiere date now in mind.

 late January to early February

 late January to early February

 late January to early February

The Fall

"Let's watch the Reichenbach Fall," they said.

"It'll be fun," they said. 

Onions

I do not like onions.
My family will not accept this fact.
I do not like fried onions.
I do not like raw onions.
I do not like onion rings.
I do not onion flavored things, or things with onions on, in, or near them.
"Of course you like onions," they say determinedly. "Everyone likes onions."
I don't like onions.
"Yes you do," they reply intelligently.
No, I don't.
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I DO NOT FREAKING LIKE THEM ANYWHERE.