The Interesting, The Awkward, and The Weird

If you know me at all, you know that my family and friends are - uh - interesting. Here are some of the equally interesting things they have said (names have been removed to protect the - ah - profound).

“The air tastes like rust.”

“It couldn’t not be raw.” 

“All he cares about is apricots.” 

“His nose is all over his face.” 

“How Hufflepuff is that?” 

“I’ve told you a billion times, do not exaggerate!” 

“Watch the poop.” 

“My finger’s claustrophobic.” 

“The kitchen is echoing with demonic laughter.”

“I like flavors.” 

“Have a piece of sugar.” 

“He was the bacon-iest of all the reindeer.”

“I have another birthday present for you. It’s my giant, leftfooted gout-boot. Do you want it?”

 “My heart is beeping.” 

“Take the goats with you.” 

“It’s a shnoogie ball!”

"Stop licking your arm.'

“Kids are not cheese.” 

“HE ATE THE THIRTY-DAY SUPPLY IN ONE MORNING?!” 

"I love all animals. Especially stink beetles."

“I will never unknow that this was a thing.” 

“How do you spell turd?”

"Where's Samantha?" "Reading Harry Potter." "Again?" "No. Still."

 “Wait! You forgot your pants!”

“Never eat the moon.” 

“That beaver’s building a nest.” 

“He wants to eat and sleep and find pumas.”

“Watch out for rainbows. They’re very slippery.”

 “And then I ate mud. The end.”

And now, for the grand finale, the all-time strangest thing anyone has ever told me.
Drumroll pleeeeeeeeease...

"I like the Patriots."