Here is almost all of it (don't be alarmed at the short length of this blog post).
1) With the obvious exception of Lady Gaga, pop stars are people too.
2) Sometimes people just need a high-five. In the face. With a book.
3) If it contains an alarming amount of avocado and your mom says 'it tastes just like chocolate pudding!' then back away slowly and avoid direct eye contact. If mom continues to approach, shield the back of your neck and play dead.
4) Never yell, "Hi, Jack!" in an airport.
5) When you have to babysit your little brother, follow The Doctor's advice: "Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can even imagine. Don't turn around. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good luck."
6) It is best not to read the Hunger Games and/or watch the Twilight Zone right before bedtime.
7) The best part about being an writer is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say a brain surgeon.
8) Just because a book is popular doesn't necessarily mean it's good. Not that I'm referring to any book in particular. *cough-cough-Twilight-cough*
9) When no one gets your witty Shakespeare references, resort to fart humor.
10) No one really cares how much that potato looks like a manatee.
11) Don't let the Muggles get you down.
12) Normal is usually equivalent to boring.
13) One is less likely to get nosebleeds so frequently if one keeps his finger out of his nose.
14) Hitler is not a good cat name.
15) Never attempt cartwheels in a maxi dress.
16) Be who you are and saw what you feel, because those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
Oh, and mice don't like coconut.
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