More "Interesting", Awkward, and Weird

More socially unacceptable phrases uttered by family and friends.

"I before E. Always."

"Because Daleks, that's why."

"How about a nice, comforting kick in the face?"

"DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE CALLED THE INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES?"

“She’s doing the dishes! It’s a St. Patrick’s Day miracle!”  

“That’s a fast-food crapfest.”

"Do you have time to talk about Santa?"

"Car troubles? Put some coconut oil on it."

“That’s much more better.”

 “Do you like stories about Canadians having dinner?” 

“Your pants smell good.” 

“Don’t throw the aardvark. That’s frowned upon in most countries.”

 “Only if he was a volatile cart-boy.”

“I ain’t none afraid of butter.” 

“Ding it with the dinghammer.”

“Do you, by chance, know where my pants went?”

 “I slow-cooked them all to death.”

"And then the world exploded."

 “I am a buttwiper extraordinaire.”

 “Narwhals are the new platypuses.”  

“Sleep is for pansies.” 

“She’s making a list of how many spoons she ate this week.” 

“They should ban tornadoes.” 

“Llamas and file cabinets – that’s all you really need in life.”

 “Can you teach him the basic laws of physics, mom? That two goats stacked on top of one another cannot balance on my head?” 

“Okay, stop licking the screen door, please.” 

“For one thing, no goats at the table. And no goats playing the clarinet. I don’t trust goats playing clarinet.” 

“We have to make eighty-eight into eighty-eight.”

 “I care about your future, and the future of your future kids’ future. Future.”

 “I don’t want to take any more of his legs off, he might need them later.”

“Can you duct-tape my foot now?”

“I don’t like you, you aren't British.”