I would love to announce that I have an extremely famous person who is willing to be interviewed for this blog.
Unfortunately, that would be a lie.
So - due to recent budget cuts (MOM.) - I will be interviewing
Me: So. It's such a great honor to -
Samantha Watson: Sorry, I don't do autographs.
Me: I didn't ask you for -
SW: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they all say.
Me: Okay. Yeah. Right. Well, anyway -
SW: I'm hungry.
Me: IF YOU WOULD JUST LISTEN, WE COULD -
SW: I'm good at listening.
Me: (takes several deep breaths) Okay. Okay. Can you - um - tell me about your childhood?
SW: Still living it, sister.
Me: Your less recent childhood.
SW: Oh. That. Well, last week -
Me: YOUR MUCH LESS RECENT CHILDHOOD.
SW: Oh. Well, I was born in Pennsylvania. And then I moved to Wisconsin. And then I stayed in Wisconsin.
Me: I see. Well, can you tell me about your family life?
SW: What are you, a stalker?
Me: No, I just want to -
SW: I have a mom. And a dad.
Me: Imagine that.
SW: And a 22-year-old sister. And a two-year-old brother. And two mice, Gonzo and Beaker.
Me: Any...additional information?
SW: Our family motto is 'Not In The Face'.
Me: Right. Well, what are your...hobbies?
SW: I love reading, and cartooning, and writing. And donkeys.
Me: Donkeys?
SW:
Me: Did you just speak a picture?
SW: Yup.
Me: Okay, well...this interview isn't going the direction I was hoping to. Let's stick to the basics. What's your favorite color?
SW:
Me: HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?!
SW: I don't know.
Me: That's it. That's IT. I'm leaving.
SW: I'm still hungry.
Samantha Watson: Supporting schizophrenia since 2000.
YOU LIKE DONKEYS TO???? *diez* I wubs you
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